Stand by me

(from a private letter that was never mailed.)

1981

Dear Brother,

I'm about to do something stupid. I already know it's stupid but I'll be doing it anyhow. All my life I have walked a fine balance between what I wanted and what I had to do and only now do I realize how easy it has been compared to what is likely around the corner.

I rarely foresee the future like you do. For me it is more a feeling of what will come. I feel that this task I have agreed to will have both positives and negatives. I know it is worthy but I also can feel the great price I will pay. I know in my heart that I will pay for/with my life to achieve the success that you desire so strongly. I walk into hell for you and I only hope someday you will forgive me for all my mistakes. For I have made many in the past and will surely add to that list in the future.

Everything I am and will be is for you.

I've never told you how much I respect you for your values and your honor. I only wish I could have been half as good as you. You have a strength that in its own way is even stronger than my own. If I don't return from this task, have faith in yourself. You are stronger than any enemy. The only possible defeat that you have to fear is at your own hands.

Random thoughts by a stupid bastard teetering on the edge of idiocy. Remember my love and loyalty even if I never spoke the words.

(no signature, just these lyrics)

When the night has come and the land is dark

and the moon is the only light we'll see.

No, I won't be afraid, oh I won't be afraid

just as long as you stand, stand by me.